Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What's half of 8? o

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops