What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Double-whammy

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops