How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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