What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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