What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops