A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops