What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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