Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Take wrong turns

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Suck pussy

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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