What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops