What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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breasts

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops