What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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