Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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