This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

A seal walks into a club.

Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

why did the zebra cross the road?

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

penis

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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