What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops