- Anti Joke

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

A man walked into a bar owch

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.