A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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