I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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