Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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