Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets should be purple

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women's Soccer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops