What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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