A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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