Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

Justin's life

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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