What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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