Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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