Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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learn. advance!

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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