A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

69

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

a irish man walks past a bar

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

The bears will win the Super Bowl

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...