What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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