How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops