Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops