what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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The New York Giants

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops