How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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ever tried african food? they neither

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops