- Anti Joke

I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

knock knock come in

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.