A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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A lot eh?

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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first

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops