Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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