What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops