Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

cory is gay

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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