A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops