I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Asian women drivers...

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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