(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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A whole 'nother.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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