What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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A fat guy!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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