So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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