Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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