What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops