What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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