Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops