A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops