Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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this website is a bad joke

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Q

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Do the roar!

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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