What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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I17. I17. I17. That was my best impression of a Bingo caller.

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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A black person dies.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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