A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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Justin beiber's penis

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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