What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=eOr5o3kd5fIcpM:&imgrefurl=http://imgfave.com/search/be%2520stupid&docid=_B1z3__jBeF0wM&imgurl=http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrh3OhfK1r158a9o1_500.jpg&w=485&h=650&ei=Jo3HT-anK4To9ASrrp2KDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=104&vpy=105&dur=1249&hovh=260&hovw=194&tx=86&ty=138&sig=104463583013410208018&page=3&tbnh=162&tbnw=121&start=23&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:23,i:149

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops