Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

this last joke was a correction to the other one

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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