A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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why girl die cancer

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops