Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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