What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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