Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

This is an anti- joke

How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

Get up Look in the mirror

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

A dyslexic man walked into a bra

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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