What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Take wrong turns

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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